Discovering Your Self Worth
Many think that self-esteem and self worth are the same thing and use the terms interchangeably. Self-esteem is the confidence that one has in themself, their personal perception of themself. Self worth exists whether or not you recognize it. Everyone has self worth, it is intrinsic, and when you come to discover and recognize that self worth, that is when you have self-esteem.
How to Find Your Worth
Your self worth is a treasure, buried within. It already exists, it was created when you were created. Just by being a human and being alive, you have worth. For some it is easier to discover and acknowledge their self worth than others. Some of us, may “know” we are of worth but have a difficult time acknowledging and accepting our worth. For others, it might seem like everyone who tells us of our worth is crazy and we are the only ones who cannot see it. Everyone will struggle at times to acknowledge our self worth because of various barriers.
Barriers to Your Discovery
What holds you back from discovering your self worth? Is your definition of worth too narrow and limited to finite things such as money, weight, education, cars, marriage, or praise? Having a narrow definition of worth is a major barrier. Remember that worth is not achieved, but discovered. It already exists within you, no matter who much money you make, how much you weigh, or how many degrees you have.
Trauma can also be a significant barrier. If you experienced a trauma, physical, emotional, sexual, or mental that left you feeling worthless this can be difficult to overcome. When someone treats us less than what we really are and fails to see our worth, sometimes we come to believe that we really are worthless. This is false. Your worth is not defined by others. Healing from trauma takes time and a mental health professional can help in the healing process.
Overcoming Barriers
Some ways to overcome your barriers that prevent you from seeing your self worth include surrounding yourself with those who can see your worth and excluding those who cannot see it. Cut out the toxic relationships and fill your space with those who see clearly and fill you with positive energy.
Fall in love with yourself. The same way you might court and date someone you are interested in, spend that time and energy on yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you admired and wanted to impress. This includes speaking to yourself nicely, treating yourself to fun, gifts, good food, and relaxation. Just like you would ask a date questions and observe things you like about that person, take time to discover who you are and what you admire about yourself. This could become a daily activity where you write down one or a few things you admire about yourself.
Talking to a medical professional has been very helpful for some. Sometimes you need to bounce thoughts off someone who could either act as a mirror to help you see things differently or provide guidance. Everyone has a unique story. Some people may need advice applicable to their unique situation.
If you’re in the Southern California region, please contact Crownview Medical Group to get in touch with a trained medical professional who can provide guidance.
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Struggling with self worth?
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Benefits of being grateful
Actively exercising the art of gratitude may have more benefits than one realizes. Expressing thanks to others, being grateful for specific things, or holding a general sense of gratitude within can impact one’s emotional and mental health in addition to relationships with others.
Gratitude and Health
The practice of being grateful can physically affect your health. Patients with heart failure who kept a gratitude journal were able to reduce symptoms associated with their illness.
These individuals were able to sleep better, experienced an improved mood, and reduced inflammation. Gratitude can also help us combat feelings of depression, encourage feelings of optimism, strengthen self confidence, and even reduce stress.
Improving Relationships
When expressing thanks to others it can help open doors for communication. Expressing our appreciation not only helps others to feel loved, validated, and recognized, but it also helps us to realize and be mindful of the good others do in our lives.
When we can recognize others’ good deeds and how they contribute to our life satisfaction, we too can feel loved, noticed, and cared for. Expressing appreciation can help mend relationships and invite a sense of security, allowing each other to let our walls down and be honest with one another.
Giving thanks to others is something proactive we can do to maintain and nourish a healthy and long lasting relationship.
Gratitude and Perspective
Having a grateful eye and heart is similar to developing a new muscle. If we are out of practice, it might seem difficult to find things to be grateful for. It takes practices to learn how to adjust our perspective and open our eyes to the many opportunities we have to give thanks.
When someone cuts us off while driving, it is easy to shake our fists to the sky and curse upon that driver. Instead, we could think, “I’m so glad I didn’t get hit by that driver, thank goodness my car wasn’t scratched, there wasn’t an accident, and I don’t need to pull over and deal with car insurance.”
In times when it seems impossible to be grateful, it is ok to just leave space open and be grateful for simple things like the fact that you’re alive, have air to breathe, and a sun that shines.
How to Be Grateful
Indeed, being grateful can be as simple as sitting down and thinking about all the things we are grateful for. There are many creative ways to express gratitude and a variety of ways to spice it up, encouraging you to look for new things and avoid getting into a repetitive cycle of being mindlessly grateful for the same things over and over again.
Some gratitude exercises are:
- Develop Gratitude Categories: Come up with different categories to focus on for the day or week. For example, for a week be grateful for different things in nature or focus on being grateful for people at work.
- Begin and End Your Day with Gratitude: Begin your day with thanksgiving for the things you are looking forward to, end your day with thanks for the things you experienced that day.
- Write Thank You Cards: It could be fun to write thank you cards and mail them, even if you are mailing it back to your own house to your spouse or children.
- Keep a Daily Gratitude Journal: Keep a pocket sized notebook as a running daily gratitude journal. You can write in it at a specific time of the day or as soon as there is something to be grateful for.
- Express Gratitude to Random Contacts: Scroll through your contacts and pick a random name, express gratitude to that person.
Although practicing gratitude has many health benefits and is a positive healthy practice, it should not replace therapy. Gratitude exercises may be a part of therapeutic activities; nevertheless, it is always best to see a professional mental health counselor to cope with mental health issues.
Grieving through the holidays
For those who lost a loved one, you know that the holiday season can be particularly difficult. While each of us have our own experiences, are in different stages of grief, and grieve differently, there are some ways that may help ease the sting of grief during an especially emotionally potent time of the year.
Traditions
Keep the traditions you had. Continue going to the family get togethers and connecting with those you love. Your loved one would probably want you to continue making new memories and enjoying the company of others. If you had a special tradition you did with your loved one, you can try to keep it in honor of them. Sometimes it can be lonesome engaging in a tradition that you did with your significant other. You can bring a family or friend along and tell them stories of that tradition. For example, if you and your loved one who passed always had breakfast at Cafe X the day after Christmas, invite a dear friend to go to breakfast with you at Cafe X and tell them about memories you have being with your loved one there.
Memories and Mementos
In many cultures, they remember their passed family with alters, displays, offerings, and more. Depending on what you feel comfortable with, you can set up a display of favorite pictures, eat their favorite food, and play their favorite song.
When someone we care about passes, it can be extremely difficult discarding their belongings. It could be helpful to create a “memory box” where you keep and put away some of their belongings. Common things to save are a favorite shirt or even a piece of fabric from their favorite piece of clothing, bottle of their cologne or perfume, letters, and anything you would like.
Unspoken Words
Many who grieve feel like there were things left unspoken, whether you weren’t able to say goodbye, are angry or upset about something, didn’t apologize, or just wanted to say, “I love you” one more time. One can still express these unspoken words. Some write a letter and burn or bury it at a special time and place, set the note free in the ocean or river, or send the message off with a balloon. You can speak into a flower and leave it at their grave or plant it. Write and recite a poem at their resting place or place of significance.
Spiritual Connection
Spirituality and religion can also be another resource for coping with grief. If you are a religious or spiritual person, connect with your spiritual leaders and higher power. Prayer, meditation, pondering, and reading of inspiring books can also help in finding solace during this difficult time.
Connect
Though at times it may feel that you are alone, there are many others suffering as well. You can connect with others through bereavement groups locally in person, online, or on phone. Seeking out a therapist could be helpful, along with connecting with family, friends, and a spiritual community.
Depression and the Holidays
Feeling down during the holidays can be tough. Holiday expectations, money stress, and other holiday hazards can spell trouble for anyone, but especially those prone to depression. Many people say that the holiday season makes them feel very or a bit more anxious or depressed.
If you are feeling down during the holiday season, reach out and speak to someone. If you notice someone getting depressed during the holidays (or anytime) keep an eye on their emotions and moods. Some people need the help of professionals to beat depression and that is okay too.
For a quick overview of Depression during the Holiday season, check out the infographic below.
