We all get grumpy, hangry, cranky, moody, and straight up pissed off.  Anger is a normal emotion for us human beings. Anger is a spectrum. Some of us feel it more intensely, more frequently, or for longer durations than others.  Nevertheless, it is an emotion that we need to live with and learn to cope with.


Before going into potential coping ideas and resources, it is important to acknowledge and recognize that anger can lead to dangerous situations.  Anger is often the emotion behind violence and abuse. Beneath the anger, is more often than not, hurt and pain. If your anger is sometimes manifested with violence, abuse, substance abuse, or dangerous living, seeking out professional mental health assistance is best.  In the situation of a crisis, such as having serious thoughts to harm self or others, call 911 or go to a hospital for immediate medical attention.

Coping Skills

There are so many ways to learn to cope with anger.  Children learn from the children’s show Daniel Tiger, “When you feel so mad you want to ROAR, take a deep breath and count to 4.” (  Surprise, this can work for teenagers and adults too.  It may seem cheesy to think this comes from a children’s show– but, there is power in delaying your anger.  Sometimes the anger is so prominent in that instant that we act irrationally. Delaying the anger and giving your brain time to catch up with the emotion may help you to process and think clearer.  

Even better, try to not only delay, but distract yourself from the anger.  If you can, go exercise and blow off some steam, vent to a friend, write in a journal, eat something yummy, punch a pillow, watch a show, whatever works for you.  Give yourself some time to climb back to reality so you can think rationally how to handle the situation that was so enraging. This could spare you some headache, heartache, regret, and embarrassment.

Preventing Anger

First, take care of yourself.  You will find that you are a lot more patient and better equipped to face anger provoking situations/ people when your belly is full, body rested, mind clear, and relationships satisfied.  In a high stress or anger prone lifestyle; prioritize your meals, exercise, health, and relationships. I know that’s asking for a lot for those with a busy life; but, know yourself and where you need to prioritize in order to be a little less grouchy.  

Second, check your expectations.  Often anger is a product of unmet expectations.  Parent is angry because the kid didn’t meet the expectation of fixing the bed in the morning.  Kid is angry, because parent didn’t meet the expectation of, “letting me live my own life because–HELLOOOO I’m 15!”  Here are two ways around this. 1. Get the expectations met. 2. Change the expectations.

Depending on the situation, sometimes it’s easier to change your expectations rather than getting them met– especially if your expectation needs to be fulfilled by another person.  Sometimes, you cannot change your expectations; in this case, one must learn to become very persuasive. Take time to evaluate the triggers of your anger and decide, is this an expectation that is negotiable or non-negotiable.  You can collaborate with the person who infuriates you to brainstorm expectation adjustments. Feel free to use your creativity!

If you or a loved one struggles with anger, please contact Crownview Medical Group to get in touch with a trained professional who can offer some helpful advice for your particular needs.