It’s hard to recognize being in a relationship with a narcissist while we’re in it. We usually realize this scary thought/reality once the relationship has already gone south. This is when we start to see all the red flags we glanced over in the beginning – another scary thought/reality. “How did I not see the signs?” But don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re not the one to blame. Narcissist are really good at fooling us, even themselves. Here’s how to know if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.


  1. Appearing confident and strong

This is usually the first deception we’re easily blind to. They’re usually very attractive and extremely charming. Narcissist have amazing self presentation. Remember, they really care about themselves first and foremost. They value success, even the appearance of it, which they display.

  1. Appears sweet and always thinking of you

We assume seeing a narcissist would be obvious because they talk about themselves a lot or demands everything to be done their way. This isn’t the case. It’s more stealth than that, it’s an unnoticed manipulation. For example, they’re good at presenting ideas that seem like they’re better than your current plans and saying things like “spontaneity is the key to life” which lead you to agree and change your plans. Or perhaps they suggest something for you, like french food because it’s more romantic, when really it was for them. And somehow now you’ve ended up doing what they wanted to do, not what you originally wanted to do. You don’t see anything wrong with this at the time because you were convinced it was sweet and for you. Not seeing how you just did what they wanted.

  1. Seems to worship you

They seem to put you on a pedestal, always complimenting you but maybe only in front of or to other people. Presenting the perfect relationship to outsiders. But doesn’t worship you that way when you’re alone. Or if they do, it’s more like “I’m so lucky” or complimenting in a way like you have you to amazing because that’s why they’re with you.

  1. Seduces you with a roller coaster relationship

A narcissist is a pro at playing the highs and low in a relationship like it’s great passion. To be so passionately in love, always bickering because that’s what being a married/in love couple is like, and even makeup sex. There’s a definite play on emotional arousal in any way. And unfortunately for us, that’s the trap. Because any emotional arousal, good and bad, tend to hook us more.

  1. Knows how to work your investment/empathy in the relationship

Narcissist are ultimately game players. When someone sweet and honest gets with someone capable of lying, manipulating, and may not even care about you, there’s no chance. However, they need to be in relationships and always have someone by their side because they need it to self regulate, enhance or maintain self esteem.


If you or a loved one suspects to be in a relationship with a narcissist and doesn’t know how to handle it, please contact Crownview Medical Group to get in touch with a medical professional who can provide some advice.