mental strength
Feeling sorry for yourself is one of the quickest ways to weaken your mental strength. Mentally strong people don’t sulk in self pity. In fact, you won’t hear them saying “Why did it have to happen to me?” or “It’s just unfair.” When we give into self pity, we’re giving up on ourselves, “I can’t deal with this.”

Feeling sorry for yourself opens a portal that sends you down a rabbit hole of no hope. This negative influence only makes the world seem gloomier and puts us in a suffering position. This is no fun at all. So then why do we do it? Maybe because it’s easier to just give up, blame the situation around us, and have a lonely pity party. However, some people invite others into their pity party. Of course this is unhealthy for yourself and your relationships.

Follow this list of things mentally strong people don’t do, by author Amy Morin:

  • Don’t feel sorry for yourself – create a gratitude journal or perform kind acts of service. Focusing your attention outside yourself will help take your mind off the reasons why you feel sorry for yourself.
  • Don’t give away your power – don’t be easily offended by criticism or spend a lot of time complaining about other people. The solution to this is to forgive people and let go of a grudge.
  • Don’t shy away from change – if you’re justifying a bad habit or have anxiety of making a bad decision? Then manage negative thoughts and weigh the pros and cons about making a change.
  • Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control – do you hope other people would change? Are you told you’re a control freak? Focus on influencing people rather than changing them and identify their strengths.
  • Don’t worry about pleasing everyone – are you a pushover or worry of how other people feel? Identify and live according to your personal values and take time deciding when to say yes or no.
  • Don’t fear taking calculated risks – struggle to make important decisions in your life or spend time daydreaming of things you’d like to do but don’t? Balance emotion with logic and remember you can’t do anything extraordinary without taking calculated risks.
  • Don’t dwell on the past – struggle with major regrets or feel the best times of your life are behind you? Make peace with your past and reflect on your past so you can learn from it.
  • Don’t make the same mistakes over and over – do you get mad at yourself because you can’t get rid of bad habits? Do you find yourself stuck in the same place when you can’t reach your goal? Create a written plan and practice self discipline.
  • Don’t resent other people’s success – do you compare your wealth or status with other people? Do you feel like you deserve more recognition than you actually get? Focus on your strengths and celebrate other people’s accomplishments.
  • Don’t give up after your first failure – do you make excuses when you fail? Do you only participate in things you know you’re going to excel? Focus on sharpening your skills and use failure as a learning opportunity.
  • Don’t fear alone time – are you uncomfortable with silence? Do you think spending time with yourself is boring? Schedule a date with yourself and practice meditation.
  • Don’t think the world owes them anything – do you feel like you were born to be successful? Do you feel like you’re an expert at everything? Behave like a team player and focus on giving rather than taking.
  • Don’t expect immediate results – do you have trouble sticking to your goals? Do you want everything done now? Remember that progress isn’t always obvious and pace yourself for the long haul.

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