Living for Yourself or Others?

Let’s take a couple minutes to evaluate, are you living for yourself or others? The decisions that you make and the way you lead your life, is it validated from within or by an external source. Are your decisions determined by your gut instincts or by outside institutions and others?

It’s an interesting to think about every once in a while, like a temperature check. Am I living for me? Of course, we don’t want to be rash and inconsiderate. We still need to make rational smart decisions. However, the way we live our lives should be validated by the one person who matters, yourself.

Too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. Just like an over valuing external validation could put your own self on the back burner. We all should be living for ourselves while considering others. Not living for others while considering ourselves. And even though the later sounds selfless and noble, we can’t forget about ourselves. Balance is always ideal, but just don’t leave yourself behind.

A lot of us search for validation through not only others, friends and family members, but through the metaphysical and religious institutions as well. This isn’t a bad thing at all, in fact it’s great to believe in something. However, there can be an obsessive point that either blinds us or creates an unhealthy relationship with ourselves. This is something we should avoid.

When it comes to validation from loved ones, of course we want to make them proud. But it can become unhealthy when we are met with the internal conflict between our personal desires and fulfilling their desires. Making them proud always feels great, it’s rewarding. Yet, depending on what personal desires are sacrificed or set aside, it can be a great struggle.

So live for yourself. Seek balance between internal and external validation. But make yourself happy, don’t just think about making others happy. We can’t forget about ourselves. As we’ve all heard before, it’s hard to make others happy when we’re unhappy ourselves.

Mark Meldon, DO/DABPN( Psychiatrist, CEO/President )

Dr. Melden earned his Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine at Philadelphia College Osteopathic Medicine and went to USC Presbyterian Hospital for his residency in Family Medicine. He then completed his Psychiatric residency at the University of California, Irvine and went to UCSD Geropsychiatry pursuing a fellowship. Dr. Melden has over 14 years of experience as a clinician specializing in treating child and adolescent, adult and geriatric clients. He has devoted his life to psychiatry in a variety of different treatment settings including in- patient and out-patient environments. He specializes in the psychiatric evaluation, complementary therapy approaches, and medical management of individuals suffering from mental illness. Currently, he maintains a private practice with Crownview Medical Group in Coronado and Carlsbad, California where he is CEO/President.