When someone has wronged you in anyway, your trust in them takes a hit. You’re mostly hurt, disappointed, and vengeful. Depending on what had happened, it can take you a while to rebuild your trust or forgive them. There’s no real timeline for moving forward. Some things take longer to move on from and there’s even times people don’t ever get past something. Do you ever feel like you could be holding onto feeling wronged? The one thing that will set you free from that feeling is forgiveness. There are two parts to forgiveness: to give up resentment or anger, and to pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense.
Basically, you feel like you still can’t let someone off the hook for whatever they did. Yet, you still want to be at peace within because you don’t want to carry the weight anymore. Sometimes we might feel like if we forgive people too quickly then that means we’re approving their behavior or giving them a free pass. It’s not unrealistic or unreasonable to disapprove an action or behavior but no longer be angry at that person for it. We can also still feel sad for it’s impact on us or others and take action to make sure it doesn’t happen again. And still not hold vengeful feelings towards the person.
Some people also feel like forgiveness is only for big things like affairs or crimes. However, it’s also the small bruises that we hold onto, bottle up, collect, and allow to grow. Things like others letting us down, hassling us, or rubbing us the wrong way. We can also hold onto these situations or forgive.
It’s also interesting to see how the person who forgives actually gains the most from forgiveness. It’s like when you’re holding a grudge against someone and then let it go. There’s an incredible weight that’s lifted off your heart, a new chapter has started, and you’re able to move on. Forgiveness frees you from anger and retribution as well as fixating on the past and reminding yourself of that hurt. It’s not being too passive either, it’s taking charge of your attitude. It widens our perspective on the truths to what people do.
Forgiveness allows you to repair the damage done without poking the wound. You don’t want to keep harming yourself after feeling harmed. Honor your wounds and heal. Forgiveness is not about shutting down your feelings, it’s being open to the experience. Come to peace. Accept the past is fixed and will never change.
Even though there’s no timeline for healing, we can’t over extend and hang on to feeling wronged. It’s not fair to hold us back in the past when we could move on and be free from what happened to us.
If you are struggling to forgive someone for hurting you or doing you wrong, please contact Crownview Medical Group to get connected with a medical professional who can help you move forward in peace.
Source:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201511/are-you-holding-feeling-wronged
