We hear a lot about saying “yes” more often as a way to open opportunity and step out of our comfort zone. That’s an awesome concept! However, it’s also healthy to say “no.” (Not to make this confusing for you.) Saying “yes” is a good way to broaden our experiences, but we need to set healthy boundaries for ourselves. That’s where the “no’s” are important. Setting boundaries can be a difficult thing, especially with our relationship, yet that’s where it matters the most. We need to set boundaries to protect us from unnecessary damaging stress and to allow ourselves to freedom to focus more energy on the things that energize us.
The first step to setting personal boundaries, is to practice tuning in to your intuition. We have to look into ourselves for guidance in determining if we should say “yes” or “no.” If we focus on the being in the moment, we’re able to feel our comfort and needs. It’s as if we have an internal compass within that either points to a “yes” or “no.” That’s what we need to look at. The struggle often times for most people is not being able to tune in to their intuition. They can’t find the answers within. This usually happens when we start to argue or reason with our voice within. We know what our internal voice says, but because we add to that or second guess it, then we become confused.
When we start listening to ourselves and say “yes” and “no,” we might experience some resistance. Others may get angry or disappointed by that boundary. We need to learn how to tolerate the responses of others. We need to stay firm and maintain the boundaries we set. Even though they may react that way, setting boundaries actually helps to improve our relationships in the long run. Don’t bring down your boundaries in fear of someone else’s reaction. That only leads to bitterness and resentment which worsens the relationship in the future. Plus, you want to surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries even if they’re unhappy with it.
When we start to care more about someone else’s reaction, we’re caring more about them than ourselves. And yes, it’s important to care about others and share compassion, but we should be willing to do the same for ourselves. The boundaries we set are types of self care and compassion, which is critical. Set time aside for yourself. To focus on self care and enriching the soul. Cook a good meal, take a bubble bath, light candles, read a book, get a manicure, do yoga, go for a walk. These are all examples of setting time aside for self care. Hold yourself accountable to these times, schedule dates with yourself. This helps us to be more in touch with ourselves and that inner compass.
If you are interested in exploring your boundaries more or learning how to be more fearless of other’s reactions, please contact Crownview Medical Group to get in touch with a medical professional who can help you based on your individual needs.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-musings/201606/the-power-saying-no
